claustrophobic
awfultune Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴Why can't I be perfect?
Why do I always take the blame?
Why am I in his bedroom?
I don’t even know his full name
It's not usually like me to
Put myself out on the line
Cause they always want to “try me”
They never wish that they were mine
I really wanna wear that white dress
And walk down the aisle
But they said stay here for awhile
They fuck me like they hate me
Like I’m not someones daughter
And when they’re done they hold me
Like I'm a loving partner
And in the dark I try to
Convince myself I want it
Then I get that reminder
I’m kinda claustrophobic
I’m kinda claustrophobic
I fear I'm not a person
I miss my body before the pain
No matter how hard you try to hurt me
I'll still be sweet like sugar cane
And I don’t know why I'm sorry
Probably the neglect and deprivation
My momma always told me
I put myself in those situations
I really want to wake up next to someone
Who makes me smile
But I'm not worthwhile
They just fuck me like they hate me
Cause I'm just someones daughter
Wish they would never leave me
But I am not their partner
And in the dark I try to
Convince myself I want it
Then I get that reminder
I’m kinda claustrophobic
What if this isn't what I think it is?
I wish I would wake up
It's so hard to feel loved in my skin
Thought I was good but I never was
Don’t fuck me like you hate me
I am a human being
No ones ever held me
And when they did I couldn't feel it
And in the dark I try to
Tell myself that I'm still dreaming
Please tell me you don’t hate me
I'm trusting this completely
I just wanna get closer
I don’t need you to save me
I try to see the future
But I don’t think it sees me
don’t wanna think about it
I think that I’m still healing
Overall Meaning
The lyrics in “Claustrophobic” tells a powerful story of a woman who feels trapped and helpless in her own skin. She starts by questioning herself and wondering why she can’t be perfect, and why she always takes the blame for things that go wrong. She then opens up about being in a situation with a man she barely knows, feeling objectified and used. Despite wanting to be loved, she can’t shake off the feeling of being claustrophobic, trapped and suffocated in the situation she finds herself in.
She reflects on how she misses her old body before the pain, and how she feels like she's not a person anymore. She blames herself for putting herself in those situations, but deep down she craves someone who loves her for who she is. She starts to plead with the men she’s been with not to treat her with such disregard, hoping that someone will finally show her the love and attention she deserves.
Line by Line Meaning
Why can't I be perfect?
I'm struggling with insecurity and feel like I'm not good enough.
Why do I always take the blame?
I have a tendency to blame myself for things that aren't my fault.
Why am I in his bedroom?
I'm in a sexual situation with someone I barely know, and it feels uncomfortable.
I don’t even know his full name
I'm realizing how strange it is to be in this situation and how little I know about this person I'm with.
It's not usually like me to
I don't typically put myself in risky or uncomfortable situations.
Put myself out on the line
I'm taking a chance and risking my physical and emotional wellbeing.
Cause they always want to “try me”
People are always pushing my boundaries and testing my limits.
They never wish that they were mine
People only want me for casual encounters and don't want to have a deeper relationship with me.
I really wanna wear that white dress
I want to have a traditional wedding and be married.
And walk down the aisle
I want to have a formal ceremony to celebrate my marriage.
But they said stay here for awhile
I'm not ready for marriage yet and need to figure things out on my own.
They fuck me like they hate me
I am being used for sex and don't feel like I am being respected or cared for.
Like I’m not someones daughter
I feel dehumanized and like I'm not a person with feelings and worth.
And when they’re done they hold me
After they use me for sex, they try to show affection, which is confusing and uncomfortable.
Like I'm a loving partner
They are trying to act like we have a deeper relationship than we actually do.
And in the dark I try to
When I'm alone and vulnerable, I try to convince myself that what happened was okay and that I wanted it.
Convince myself I want it
I'm trying to rationalize and justify the uncomfortable and potentially harmful situation I'm in.
Then I get that reminder
Eventually, I remember that what happened was not okay and that I didn't want it.
I’m kinda claustrophobic
I feel trapped and uncomfortable in these situations and need to escape.
I fear I'm not a person
I'm afraid that I'm not seen as a full human being with worth and value.
I miss my body before the pain
I long for a time when I didn't feel uncomfortable and used in sexual situations.
No matter how hard you try to hurt me
Even though people treat me badly, I still try to be kind and maintain my sense of self-worth.
I'll still be sweet like sugar cane
I will maintain my positive attitude and kindness towards others.
And I don’t know why I'm sorry
I apologize for things that aren't my fault and take on the blame for things I have no control over.
Probably the neglect and deprivation
I likely learned these maladaptive behaviors and thought patterns due to past experiences of neglect and a lack of care.
My momma always told me
I learned certain beliefs and behaviors from my upbringing and the messages I received from my family.
I put myself in those situations
I take responsibility for some of the situations I find myself in, but also recognize the role of external factors and societal norms.
I really want to wake up next to someone
I want to experience intimacy and connection with another person.
Who makes me smile
I want to be with someone who brings me joy and happiness.
But I'm not worthwhile
I struggle with feelings of unworthiness and don't believe I deserve to be in a healthy and loving relationship.
Don’t fuck me like you hate me
I want to be treated with respect and care, not used and abused.
I am a human being
I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect as a fully-formed human being.
No one's ever held me
I have not experienced true physical or emotional intimacy with another person.
And when they did I couldn't feel it
Even when people try to show me affection, I struggle to accept it and feel it on a deeper level.
Tell myself that I'm still dreaming
I struggle to believe that good things can happen to me and that I deserve happiness.
Please tell me you don’t hate me
I am insecure and unsure about how others perceive me.
I'm trusting this completely
I am putting my trust in another person and hoping for the best.
I just wanna get closer
I crave intimacy and connection with another person.
I don’t need you to save me
I am capable of taking care of myself and don't want to be rescued by anyone else.
I try to see the future
I am optimistic and hopeful about what the future holds for me.
But I don’t think it sees me
I worry that my experiences and struggles won't lead to a positive future.
don’t wanna think about it
I am overwhelmed and exhausted by my negative thoughts and want to avoid them.
I think that I’m still healing
I am in the process of overcoming my past experiences and working towards a healthier future for myself.
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: awfultune
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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